


Darkest Part

by Alwaysdreaming95



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Archangels, Demons, Depression, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gods, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Resurrection, Season 9
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 12:37:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8249407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysdreaming95/pseuds/Alwaysdreaming95
Summary: A long lost twin shows up in the Winchester's life and they don't know how to react especially since she's not all human. Cas sticks to his story and tell them that she needs their help to stop a chain of unfortunate events from happening.





	1. Prologue- Enter Castiel the Angel

I know that my life hasn't always been what you call easy even to this day it isn't. So to say that my life is complicated is an understatement. I'm a young girl in my mind I'm only at the age of 21 with really no memory of my life before. Though I have been having a wonderful life with a loving husband, Jared, and a beautiful lil newborn son, Jacob. Though I've noticed in the last year my body hasn't really changed at all, even after being pregnant and having my lil boy. Also the way I see things is acting up, almost like I'm going crazy.... I don't think I have schizophrenia in my family history. One of my friends joked that I must be a medium or something. Which I'd take any day over the fact that I'm just batshit crazy. Still, if this continues I have a feeling that I'd have to leave the small family that I had created and that scares me more than anything losing my husband and son not being in my life anymore.  
I feel a hand pull on my shirt to look down at my little boy smiling thinking of how handsome he'll be one day and how I can't wait, but I fear that maybe I won't see it. I won't see if he'll have brown, green, or blue eyes. Though luckily I already know he won't have my mismatched eyes, heterochromia. I've already spent so much time that I remember dealing with people's stares. If he'll have my light hair or his father's black hair.  
I lean back and close my eyes. I picture a countryside home and in the back tied to a tree is a tire swing. I see a young girl being pushed on it, but then all I see is fire and smoke as the house burns to the ground. I sit up quickly not bothering looking around pulling my son to my side before I check the time to see when Jared will be home so he'll hold me in his arms and the nightmares will go away.  
"Hello, Marina," I jump up as I look up to see a stranger standing in the middle of my room.  
When he looks up I don't see a human face instead I see a simple humanoid-like form made of light that shines rather brightly with two bright blue eyes on where the head should be. I feel as if I know him from somewhere.  
Still, I say the most cliche thing in the world, "Who are you? What are you doing here?"  
"I'm Castiel, you may not remember but I used to look after you while you grew up into the woman you are today. I'm here to bring you to your older brothers for they will need you soon."  
I look at him like he grew a second head on his body made of light, "Brothers...? I have a family, if so why haven't they come look for me?"  
He looks a bit upset as his aura or whatever turns a light shade of blue meaning he's feeling sad about this, "They never knew of your birth, for you were the sister that had gone missing then erased from her family's memories. A girl with both demon and angel blood pumping through her system."  
I stare at him with wide eyes starting to wonder if I should be talking with this lunatic, "Angels... Demons... Those are just stories ones that are used to try to keep people in line."  
He looks at me as he tilts his head and I see curiosity in his eyes, but also confusion, "Yet you have differently colored eyes that you swear either turn black or shine a bright blue light. You sometimes hear something like conversations when you let your guard down. Then strange things keep happening to you that you can't even get close to understanding. Oh I almost forgot you can only see light for my body don't you and sometimes you can see people whose faces seem to be rotting"  
I steel my eyes as I look at this man or angel as he's trying to tell me, "How do you know this? I never told anyone these things well maybe seeing people as different things... If I have both angel and demon blood do you see me like this?" I can't help but ask the last part.  
"I'm an angel which is why my form looks so bright. Demons are the ones the ones that look like corpses. There are other beings in this world with all kinds of different forms and powers. All of which probably would love to have you at their side."  
"If that is so why would I have been safe for all this time?"  
"There has been a protection spell, but it seems to be fading. I had come to take you to either your brothers or a safe place." His face doesn't show any emotion or anything it's the same with his gruff sounding voice.  
"My husband and son, what of them?" I have to ask they are my entire world no matter what.  
The angel simply stares me straight in the eyes, "Your son will need to come since your blood is running through him. Your husband, on the other hand, is up to either one of you."  
"Will he be in danger?"  
"Only with his memories of you," Castiel answers with a matter of fact voice that he's been using for about everything.  
"Could his memories be erased?"  
"Yes, they can be. I could do so if that is what you wish. Though once it’s been done you can't do anything that might bring the memories into the light."  
I nod my head as I stare at the angel holding tightly to my son until I hear keys jingling as the front door is being unlocked. I look at the time to see that my husband, Jared, is just getting home from work. Eleven-eleven, make a wish for when I get things figured out.  
"Yes, that is what I'd wish for," for now at least so Jared can be safe.  
As I hear the door open a bright light blinds me as I move to cover Jacob's eyes. As I open my eyes I look around to find myself in a cabin with symbols written all over the walls with all my things placed nicely all over the room. I move to a shelf that has all the picture frames with pictures that were taken during my time with Jared. I gently maneuver Jacob so I can pick up my favorite wedding photo.  
"None of this was left in Jared's house?" I ask as I fight back the tears in my eyes.  
I catch the angel shaking his head when I look up after setting the wedding photo to looking at the photo of Jared sleeping with Jacob in his arms, shortly after I had given birth to our son,  
"There is no trace of you for Mr. Jared Jensen to recall. Nothing that would make him go through moments of deja vu, for he could possibly recall small things about you or your child."  
I look at my son with tears dripping down to his lil cheeks. Jacob is staring at me in wonderment and worry.  
I smile down at my son, "Mommy's alright, love. Though she's sorry sweetie daddy won't be with us for a while."  
The angel does his head tilt again and I watch his aura more closely this time so I can figure out what he's thinking.  
"I can't tell my son the truth," I answer the unasked question, "even though he's this young it’ll still impact him."  
The angel simply nods his head seeming to understand my words a lil bit.  
"Castiel, can you give me some time to process this before I'm introduced to my brothers?"  
"Of course, take as long as you need. Just pray or call me and I'll be here," he goes to leave but suddenly stops, "Oh yeah."  
He places two of his fingers on my forehead and I feel a burning sensation all over my body.  
When the feeling goes away I grab the angel's jacket, "What the hell did you do?"  
"I put a protection spell and other symbols in Enochian all over your skeletal system to protect you from other beings in this world."  
I can feel the magic running through my bones, "My son," I say as I look at Castiel unsure how to voice my question.  
"He's a bit young and as you felt it is a bit painful. I will put the words on him if that is what you so wish to have protection on him then I'll do so."  
I look at my son and wonder if what I'm about to say will make me a horrible mother, "Yes, Please put the wards on Jacob so he can be protected. "  
The angel nods his head as he places two fingers on my son's forehead and Jacob doesn't even flinch or much less make a sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it and I'm always ready to hear what people have to say good or bad. So please leave comments, kudos, and bookmarks. I've love to know what you think


	2. Ch.1- Time to Meet the Brothers

Three Years Later

I wake up to the sound of wings as Castiel comes to check on us once again like he promised he would. As our set made deal after I had been left alone in the cabin for two months. I had told him that he'd have to check in every two weeks. He has kept that promise to me even during the time he was a bit crazy he'd still call me up or suddenly pop in. We did have a talk about personal space and private moments, like shows and changing. During this time Jacob had fallen in love with the angel wanting to call him uncle Cas all the time. It's funny is Cas tells us that even my brothers think of him as part of the family. I can see why but there are some things that I know that my brothers probably don't about this angel with blue eyes and charred wings that had used to look like the beginning of a sunrise.   
I look up and smile at the angel as I look at his wings, "Castiel, do I have wings?"  
The angel looks at me for a long time before he nods his head, "Yes, you have wings. They are beautiful though mismatched. One looks like the color of a crow or even oil while the other wing is white with silver and gold threaded through it. If you want to see them try to call them forth since you have a great amount of power even as a mortal you must have had a stronger angel give you their blood, their grace. You are a very special human with a special purpose... gift."  
I almost snort at that thought still I ignore the last part as I talk to Cas, "So I focus or more so pray on the wings and they'll show?"  
He nods his head and I close my eyes picturing the wings that he had described to me for I can see for myself. I hear a gasp causing me to open my eyes to see my son with gray wings with hints of blue and green through the feathers. I smile slightly as I turn to the side to see white gold and silver wings on one side while the other reminds of crows or even oil with how the light hits certain spots and it'll look a bit like a rainbow.   
"Mommy has wings, me too," Jacob shouts as he jumps around and flaps his own gray, silver, and gold wings picking himself off the floor.   
I chuckle as I pull him gently into my arms thinking of his wings. I smile as a single thought brings my wings are brought back into my body.   
"Now do you want to try flying?" Cas asks like it's not such a hard thing to do.  
"Flying... like to my brothers?"  
"If that is the place you'd like to fly to. Though I need to ask you, are you ready to meet your brothers?"  
I look at Castiel as I nod my head, "Yes, I believe now I'd like to meet my brothers. To meet the family that I never knew. Though Castiel why do I have no memories before Castiel, I know that you know the reason why? Please tell me the truth, what happened to me?"  
Castiel's eyes only speak guilt and sorrow, "Lucifer had found you after he had escaped his cage. He tried to in his own little way to woo you over to his side. He had played with you, but Gabriel set you free when Lucifer had killed him. You had been given Gabriel's grace. That is how you became so strong and you will only become stronger as time passes."  
I smile sadly as I nod my head, "Of course. Let's go, Castiel. I think you have something that you're in a hurry to do. Though Castiel listens to my warning, not everything that you believe is right is actually the right thing to do. Sometimes people we believe we can trust cause we're desperate are just as bad as those we are fighting against. What you're about to do is going to hurt everyone that you are hoping to help and it's going to hurt you a large amount."  
Cas looks at me strangely before I'm taught how to either fly or teleport they feel the same way. We land in a library with Castiel holding my shoulders I hold my son tightly into my arms. Before Castiel can say anything my now 3-year-old son starts crying and I try to calm him, but his wings pop out and I start to hush him.   
"Jacob," once I speak his name as a harsh whisper his head snaps up to look at me as I add, "we're with friends. So, fluff up your wings and put them away, right this second."  
My son listens as he puts his wings away. I smile as I lean over to kiss my son's forehead in my own little way of telling him that he's a good boy for listening to mommy.  
"Cas, who the hell is this? What the hell is going on?" a man with sandy blonde that's cut almost military style and spiked on top with green eyes that remind me of my right side. He's probably about 6" 1' and his frame is well built I guess. Though I don't' see too much likeness in our faces.   
"Dean, watch your language she's holding a child. Now Cas can you explain who is this and why you brought her here?" the other man with long brown hair and brown eyes says as he looks at me. He's rather tall much like a Sasquatch.   
My eyes seem to be a part of each of my brothers. It’s amazing that each eye seems to represent one of my brothers. Cas stares at them as I look at my son wondering how my son had gotten his father's black hair and bright green eyes with beautiful hints of blue and gold flecks… I guess that is from my side of the family.   
“This is Marina Winchester, Sam’s twin,” the angel answers while he checks between my brothers and me.   
I look at Castiel confused, “Twins… He’s in what his early 30’s while I’m still... I truthfully don’t know but let’s go with 21. How is that even possible?”  
The angel tilts his head as he looks at me, “Would you like to see what Gabriel’s grace did too you? Would you like to see what the first years of your life were like before Lucifer got to you? Though I truthfully have no idea on how you’re stuck at the age of 21.”  
I sigh as I look at him shaking my head, “Just help me with my memories and then I’ll tell you.”  
He simply nods as he walks over to me placing 2 fingers to my forehead and we wait. I feel a rush of emotions and everything. When I feel the fingers leave their spot I fall down too my knees, but I still am able to carefully set my beautiful lil boy down. Then I hug him crying. His mother is a horrible person and how he’s stuck with me. A person who had killed her favorite foster parents who had actually adopted me when I was only 10 and I had killed them when I was 21 cause my powers had lost control. That night I killed them I seemed to stop aging. That was the start of all of this. Then everything that I had done when Lucifer was using me as a puppet mostly cause he had Jared under his possession. After Lucy was locked up again I had met Jared’s parents, who I found out had done a spell to make it look like he ages like a normal human at least until his 40th birthday where they’ll have a talk with him. An annoying thing is a stupid cupid had cursed us to love each other so his mother had forced an even stronger form of immortality on me as long as her son lives. Though if he dies then my angel grace and such would keep me alive.   
I wrap my arms around my son as I start whispering, “I’m sorry, Jacob. You’ll have to grow up as mommy stays the same. It seems mommy has had a lot of things happen and daddy’s mommy did something for daddy could never lose me. Though with my given grace it wouldn’t matter anyways I’m stuck not aging. Though no matter what I’ll always be with you no matter what happens.”  
The men or more so my older brothers exchange looks as they look at me and I keep looking over at them until I hear the angel radio in my head. I grab my head since the radio is so loud. I’m slowly able to turn it off with a great amount of focus. I look at my tattoos and such as I play with my hair as a nervous tick. I look to my brother’s eyes worried what they’ll have to say.   
“Dean, she looks a lot like mom when she was young. Her hair is just a shade between our own. Her attitude reminds me of mom when we had met her and dad when they were young.”  
I stare at them as I hold my son close to me though I'm still kneeling. I carefully stand up keeping Jacob in my arms. I take in all the information. All my life I had wondered if I would look like my real mother or father. Even though I have always loved my adopted parents. I smile gently as I watch my brothers exchange looks and I take in that the taller puppy looking one seems to be the calmer more gentle one.   
"Marina, let's go find you a room while Castiel has a nice talk with Dean."  
I smile over at Sam and a small flash of watching over a shorter boy pops into my mind, "You've grown a lot, Sam. You know if you ever need something just ask me. I'm sure I could do something to help you. Through that pain and guilt in your heart, you should try to let it go and move on with your life. It won't mean you're a bad person if you do so. Everything is connected, but time is not a straight line that's unchangeable. Look at you and your brother how many times have you died and come back. Some people just are unlucky like that. Though I'm stuck as I am cause Gabriel or maybe even what God had done. Though with this grace I could bring him if I tried. Though those who died how long ago I can not help," the last part I add to give him a hint if he even thinks about me bringing back Jess. I know how much she meant to Sam, but bringing her back would be very dangerous and painful for all kinds of people.  
"How do you know all of this?"  
I shrug, "I'm not sure maybe it maybe my angel grace or demon blood that's running through my veins. I'm half angel and half demon with 'gifts' it's hard to explain. Castiel told me that I'll have powers like a knight of hell, but also something like an archangel. You say my son's wings h got that from me, but the angel wings shouldn't be used to draw attention."  
Sam seems to understand a lil of what I'm saying. We seem to had stopped in front of a door. I hadn't even noticed that we had started to walk.   
"This room I hope will work for you. Jacob can sleep in any one of the rooms that's around you. Dean and I will be down the hall on either side. Though your room is right between both of ours. I know that Dean is in shock about all of this. Hell, I am too, but I sometimes seem to take things like this better than him. If Cas says you're our sister and he brought you here then I believe you can be trusted. It's just Dean doesn't act well to sudden changes we all can say we're glad that we didn't have our guns on us, though. I;m really shocked that I never knew."  
"Though I've met you and Dean when we were younger. I watched over both of you, but after Lucifer had gotten to me for that short while I lost track of the 2 of you. I wish I could have protected you from all the pain that you've gone through in life. We are family so if you ever need help remember to see me and I'll try to help ya. I could work with research if you'd like. I spent about all my life studying monsters, gods, and about everything else in between. I had helped Bobby every once in awhile." Sam smiles at me and I can't help, but to ask, "Can we sit down and I don't know catch up and get to know each other. "  
He nods his head, "Alright, but I feel like I already know you, that I've always kind of known you."  
I smile as I place one of my hands on his shoulder, "In a way you do for we are twins. Though instead of just angel grace I also have demon blood in me much like yourself. Though I was taught to pull the demons out then use my grace to kill them. Though sometimes I wonder if something else had happened. If I'm more demon than angel. I wish I could give Gabe back his life," I add the last part without thinking but the angel grace being spoken of it comes to mind.  
My brother simply stares at me like I'd grown another head.   
"How would you do that? huh, when an angel dies it seems that only god can possibly do that, but Gabriel was killed with an archangel's blade. I'm not entirely sure that would be possible."  
I sigh as I speak up, "Sam, you really know nothing of magic. There are all kinds of things that can be done with angel magic that god can. I just feel wrong using grace that does not belong to me. So I want to see the library and archives as soon as I can."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it and I'm always ready to hear what people have to say good or bad.


	3. Ch. 2 - Only Thoughts of Jared

So I've been with my brothers a few weeks now and I kind of want to kill them. Especially since I don't really ever sleep cause I never had the need to. It's the same with eating, but I do every once in awhile mostly when I eat out. The angels had fallen. I've gotten 3 jobs at all times of the day. Luckily I get at least 2 hrs between each shift so I can check in on my lil boy. Though I had learned that Jared had moved to Lebanon and is working in a bar in town so I've been avoiding all places that deal with it. Though I know where Jared is I haven't told anyone about him. Jacob even asks about his father all the time wondering where he is. Every once in awhile he'll ask for Uncle Cas, but I keep my trap shut and hope that things will even out. I'm thinking this even knowing my brother, Sam, is possessed by an angel. Though the angel doesn't take much notice of me, but I think we sense each other and avoid each other whenever we can. Though I spend a lot of time with my brother and the prophet Kevin, who has taken a small liking to me.   
I sigh as I sit down looking around in the library coming through all the books in its vicinity about 2 times already. Reading faster than any human though once in awhile I'll find an interesting one and sit down and take my time.   
"So Marina," I look up from my latest book to see Dean sitting across from me, “I'm sorry for how I acted when you showed up. It's just you surprised me showing out of nowhere... It doesn't help that your son had angel wings."  
I smile softly at my brother as he rubs the back of his neck, "It's alright, Dean. Though I could sense some jealousy and anger from you that day and sometimes I swear I still do when I get calls from Cas and you don't. Trust me though that angel doesn't have eyes for me. There's nothing between Cas and I. Though thank you for not shooting me. If you had hurt my son in any way you'd be tasting your own spleen in a matter of seconds. You might be my brother, but my son comes first no matter what. I'm sure Sam and Cas maybe even Kevin would come before me. I'm practically a stranger invading your home." I watch my brother nod his head in understanding.   
"Marina, I have to ask why you spend so much time out of the bunker it's not exactly safe. Plus trusting Kevin who has been spending all his time reading the tablet is such a good idea."  
I sigh as I look at Dean, "I know, but I can't exactly take him to a daycare when I'm working. Luckily Jacob is a smart and good boy. He could be taking care of himself much less Kevin too if he would need too. Luckily he's like a tether to keep Kevin alive and attached to the human realm."  
"That is true," Dean says.   
I nod my head as I place my book on the table and decide that maybe I should also face the music with my ex.   
"Dean, sorry to ask this, but can you keep an eye on Jacob. I'm gonna go out to check on something I should be back in an hour or two it's only in Lebanon so there are no worries."  
He nods his head, "Do what you need to he'll be safe here and I'll keep a good eye on him."  
I smile knowing I can trust Dean, "Thank you."

I had driven to the bar that Jared is working in and I smile when I see him doing his little show when he gets certain drinks that he needs to make. I carefully take a seat in the back and when the waitress comes over to take my order I order a vodka blue lighting. I watch as I see my Jared smile as he gets the order as he makes it. I take in how a lot darker circles are under his now dull eyes trying to look bright and how his hair is a little more of a mess than it usually is. It looks like he had crawled out of bed and came to work. That isn't like Jared, but somehow after we make a small amount of eye contact his eyes seem to brighten and it's almost like a light enters his eyes all over again. I'm not sure how long I sit there watching him. I look up when I take notice to 2 hunters go up to him and cause issues. So I go up to the counter and 'accidently' bump into one spilling my drink on him.   
I give him a slight smile, "I'm sorry. I've had a few too many. I wanted to ask the bartender if I could order something nonalcoholic before I go home."  
I sigh as the guy grabs my shirt and I know the fabric had easily stretched, "Listen here little girl I know you ain't drunk."  
I smile sweetly at him as I grab him by his little boys, "Listen here, buddy. I might not be drunk but I was in a good mood before you started to cause issues with this nice bartender," I look at the Jared, "I'd like a new drink since this asshole made me spill my other one. It's a vodka blue lighting." I switch my attention to the man I'm holding by the balls, "Now listen here as I say this. I don't like people who are rude for no fucking reason. So listen to me before I decide to tell my brother's to never help your sorry ass ever again."  
The man looks at me confused, "Who would your brothers be?"  
"Oh Sam and Dean Winchester so I wouldn't piss me off," I tell him as I give him an extra harsh squeeze before I shove him back and look at his buddy knowing they’re younger hunters probably stopping to get a drink between jobs.   
"I don't want any issues 'mam I just came here with my buddy to have a few drinks," he tells me in a hurried voice.   
I smile as I nod my head as I look at that guy, "Probably a few too many. Listen get your asses out of here or else I won't care if I get arrested for beating your asses."  
That that as a cue to run off like little rodents with their tails between their legs. I sigh as I rub the back of my neck as I sit on the bar stool in front of Jared.   
"Thanks. They've been causing issues since they came in over an hour ago," as he tells me that I simply nod my head taking the drink he offers me, "My name's Jared Jensen by the way."  
I chuckle at how this reminds me at how we had met shortly after my parents had died. He had become my salvation and it seems he still very much is.   
"Ahh... I'm Marina... Winchester," I tell him glad I had used magic to change my last name after Cas had wiped me from his memory.  
"Nice to meet you, Marina," he looks down at my hand to see my engagement and wedding bands. Shit, I had forgotten to take them off.   
My engagement ring was simple with a nice real diamond and sapphire and emeralds to match our birthstones. My wedding ring had diamonds but also opals since they are one of my favorite stones. Though on both hands I have iron salted rings with magic places on them. I also have pure silver rings with magic places on them. The magic places on my rings are there to protect them from any harm but also to make sure they don't mark up my hands as well.   
I swiftly cover the rings but he saw them, "My ex-husband gave them to me."  
"Ahh, I'm sorry... What happened if you mind me asking? I'm a bartender for a long while so I've heard all kinds of stories."  
I smile at him sadly, "I just didn't want to hurt him anymore. So I left him after he lost his memories of only me. I was afraid to face him so I ran away. What of you? You're a new face here."  
I watch as he blushes looking at me and I know he's falling for me all over again. It's like we're starting clean... This isn't fair maybe I should unlock his memories for him.   
"Ahh... Well, I woke up one day and I felt empty in my apartment. I felt lonely so I decided to move. I decided that I'd move close back to where I was born and for some reason instead of Manhattan I ended up here. It was a bit strange. What of you? From what I heard from my chatty waitress you're only a few weeks newer than me."  
I chuckle as I look at him pushing a few strands back behind my ears, "I needed a new scenery. I had called up my brother who had moved to Lebanon since they missed Kansas, but they couldn't face moving back to Lawrence in total so they moved in our grandfather's place outside of town."  
he nods his head as he looks at me, "You know you should call him and see how's he's doing. Even if he doesn't know who you are it shouldn't be all that bad."  
I shake my head as I tell him a lil bit of truth, "It's my fault he lost his memory. If he remembers the reason he'll hate me. I'm scared of that. I've only seen him about twice since I left him. I had picked up all things that'd remind him of me and left home.'  
I watch as Jared hums a familiar tune and I can't help but rest my head on the counter, "Where did you learn that song?"  
He blushes as he looks at his hands, “Well I write songs on my free time and I found this one ripped up. I'm not sure why, though. I mean I had talked to my lil bandmates back in Minnesota and they seemed to remember playing this. They told me I had written it for a girl. I can't remember that, though. It's like I had suddenly lost pieces of my memories. Pieces of memories that make up a deep part of myself."  
I hold back my guilt and tears as I smile gently at him taking his hand in my own, "Well I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for soon. I'm sorry I wish I was more of help, but it seems. I'm pretty useless. Though my ex would tell me the opposite. I have a lot of flaws but I've always put my loved ones before myself. Leaving him cause of my fear was the first time I had done something that selfish in years. I had left Minnesota behind me as well. Maybe that's why I know that tune. I might have seen you perform it. Do you still perform?"  
I end up asking him wondering if he had kept up his passion even without his memories of me. Memories of the woman who had simply started off being the muse of a boy who looked no more than 18 when I was 21. Though when I had heard him sing I fell in love with him and his lyrics. It was only his second concert where he had come over to my table to sit down and talk with me. He had told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me since he saw me in the crowd 5 weeks before. I couldn't help myself as I had ended up kissing him as I whispered in his ear that I was glad he couldn't cause it was the same for myself. Next thing I knew we were dating. Though Luci had found us... me and decided to use the man I loved against me to make me do his bidding though they were small things. He wanted to keep me secret so he could use me as a weapon in the war he was to start with heaven. To bad he was thrown back into the pit…. Stupid mother fucker underestimating the Winchesters.   
I look up as I watch Jared speak. It was a few hours later when I realize I had left my son along with my practically useless brothers who fear children in their own little way.   
I shoot up as I smile at him, "I'm sorry. I'd love to keep chatting, but I have to get back to my son. I stayed here a lot longer than I thought I would."  
And like our first meeting, he takes a hold my hand as I go to leave and even speaks the same words, "When will I see you again?"  
I freeze up as I look him in the eyes and ask him even though Jacob is his son, "You want to see me again even though I have a child."  
"Yes, you're an amazing woman I'd love to get to know you. Marina, you are amazing." I freeze up as he uses practically the same words he used when I asked him that day, 'why would you want to see me?'  
I smile as I gently take his hand off my own as I answer, "When I have the time to drink outside of my home and can find someone that can look after my lil boy."  
Before he can say anything else I practically race out of the bar to my classic fully black 1969 Camaro ss coupe. I smile as I slide into the driver's seat enjoying the looks I get. I always love that people don't expect girls to have a pristine looking classic car. Though my car better is in perfect condition with how I treat it.... It doesn't help with the spells I put on it to keep it in this condition. I still remember Sam and Dean's face when I had Cas help me poof it to their garage in the bunker. It was priceless. They asked me about the restoration and I answered that I had done it all myself though it was in near perfect condition when I had gotten it so it didn't need a lot of work. This car was one that Jared had helped me find our first year together. It was my first present from him. I remember when he had said he'd pay for all the restoration since his parents have all kinds of money. I had shaken my head saying that I was gonna do all the work myself. I remember the look on his face the first day I walked into his apartment covered in grease as I had finished up working on the engine to have it working to my certain specs.   
I sigh as I pull into the bunkers garage and I meet Sam and Dean there who look tired as hell. Jacob is cradled in Dean's arms who kept looking down at him like he wasn't sure what to do. I snap a quick picture before I shut off the engine. Like a magic spell Jacob wakes up and he runs to the car with a happy smile on his face. I almost start crying when I take all of him in and see how much he looks like Jared... like father like son.   
"I'm sorry... I got held up," I tell them as I scoop my son up.  
"We know. We got a call from 2 angry hunters telling us to keep our sister in line."  
I roll my eyes as I look at then, "It's not my fault they were causing all kinds of ruckus in the bar. I was a lil tired of how they were treating the people that work there."  
"That may be true, but that does not give you the right to talk to us. We are a family and doing things like that should be discussed."  
I roll my eyes as I look at my brother, “There’s is all kinds of things both of you have done without discussing it with each other. Look I ended up saying that cause I was trying to keep my cool. Part of the reason I don’t really work with a lot of people. Do you want my eyes to flash and all hell to break lose? If so how about one of you take an angel blade and shove it into my chest right now save me from the pain and while you’re at it do the same to your nephew. Castiel said I should be safe here, but I don’t think I will be. I don’t think this place is for me. I think I’ll go back to my lil cabin and hide out there until everyone I know and care for is all dead.”  
I stomp off to my room to pack up my things only to have someone grab my elbow. Without thinking I punch them and I watch Sam fall to the ground. I don’t feel anything no guilt or surprise instead there’s just an empty void. I hold Jacob more to me and I feel a bit more, but there’s still someone missing from my equation. Someone who I know I love and I miss so much more than I miss my parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it and I'm always ready to hear what people have to say good or bad.


	4. Ch.3- Paths We Take

They want me to stay not just cause they promised Cas they’d look after me, but cause in this very short time I’ve been here I’ve been recognized as family. This has also become my story something that I didn’t exactly wish for or want. I’ve always been okay with Jared and Jacob being my only family. The idea that over these last couple of years though Cas had seemed to be pulled into my list. Cas is gone and I don’t think he’s coming back anytime soon. He had helped me.   
My family was all I had. I had been adopted into my foster family after I was there for only a year. I was with them for most of my life and then I did the worse I killed them. I had killed them with the angelic grace. I hadn’t tried it was an accident and to make things worse the house light on fire and only I had ascended from the ashes and I came out who I am today. It’s cause I of that fire I had gone to the bar and I had met Jared. It was like my parents were leading me to my salvation. I always wonder that if in heaven they can even watch over me like I had always believed them able to do. I should have asked Castiel while I had the chance. As soon as I can I’m gonna make a break for the cabin and leaving the Winchester's behind. I don’t care if they’re supposed to be my blood brothers.   
“Marina,” I hear Sam’s voice call out from outside my door but I know it’s not him.   
I sigh as I stand up and answer from behind my signal protected room, “Gadreel, what do you want?”  
“You know who I am.”  
“Of course, I do. I may not have all the information regular angels have, but Gabriel’s grace helps cover that. Though I do not hold anything against you Gadreel except you had killed Kevin. You plan on leaving now. Do you have any idea what you had done and what Metatron plans on doing?”  
“Yes, and Metatron plans on asking you to join.”  
“You know my answer to that Gadreel. I do not want to join that hypocrite in a battle for heaven and earth. I want nothing to do with this battle. All I want is to be with my husband and son.”  
“Then I’m sorry it’ll have to be this way.”  
I hear him leave and I know something bad is about to happen. I look at Jacob and quickly grab my packed bags before I decide to try to teleport to my car. I’m able to teleport Jacob and our things to it. I quickly throw my things into backtrack over the hidden piece that’s like my brother’s hiding weapons and books. I have journals ready and a few books filled with what I need to know of monsters, gods, and symbols that I’ll ever need to know right off hand.   
I buckle my lil boy in before I pop into the kitchen packing a lunch then walk into the library to come face to face with my brother, Dean.   
“What happened?”  
“The angel possessing our brother is what happened. Now thanks to that this place isn’t safe. I’m going back to my original hiding place and if I see anything that’s not human around it I’m killing them.”   
Dean looks at me before he nods, “If I had a child like Jacob. I’d probably be doing the same thing, but I’m gonna miss you.”  
“Is that cause we’re family or cause you’ll need the extra help?”  
“Both,” he answers.   
I smile before I pull him into my arms as I quickly wipe my tears away, “Thank you for so much, Dean. If you ever need me my phone number will be the same. Please keep on eye on Jared for me if you can.”

I sigh as I pop back to my car and slip into it handing Jacob his packed lunch.  
“It’s time to go again, Jacob. We might end up seeing daddy sooner than thought.”  
My son’s head pops up as he smiles at me. I laugh as I drive us past the bar I take notice that there’s an ambulance sitting outside with its lights on. I quickly stop the car and jump out. I run inside to see my ex-husband lying on the ground with a wound done to his stomach.   
“What happened?”  
The paramedic looks up at me and sighs, “Don’t know the guy that’s dead at the end of the bar had reportedly come in with a guy and there were reports of yelling then gunfire. Now can you get out of the way so I can possibly move him.”  
I can’t stop the words coming from my mouth, “I’m his ex-wife. We separated after he was in an accident. I just want to know will he survive?”  
“There should be no problem stabilizing him everything else is up to him. We can do everything we can do and he’ll just have to do the same.”  
I nod my head as I place a hand where his head and neck join, “I’m so sorry Jared. I shouldn’t have left you or dragged you into this mess I call a life. I love you so much.” I quickly kiss his forehead and whisper a spell that will protect him, “You better fight or else I’m gonna go to your personal heaven and have some choice words with you.”  
I watch the corner of his mouth twitch as I move away.

I sigh as I pull up to the cabin and once again I pop our things and ourselves to the door. I open it and reset all the magical wards as I pull us in.   
“Well, I guess we’re back here Jacob. I guess now I have more time to tell you stories about your grandparents. Don’t I…. Where should I start... . How about when I met them for the first time.”

I was only been in the foster care for about 2 years when I had come across the Poe house. I was still a confused child on how I had ended up in that kind of situation like that. I remember being raised by the angels especially by the one named Castiel thought he was in his celestial form most of the time. Still, the first time I met Martha and Ed I was in heaven. Ed was an English teacher at a local high school while Martha owned her own lil cafe in town just down the street. They were kind to me unlike any of the other homes I had been into. They let me go to school, they bought me about anything I ever wanted. They still loved me even after I was brought in they found out that they were going to have a baby of their own. I was always scared I was gonna get hit like my other 4 homes I had been in the 2 years before I met the Poe’s. Still, I was always scared especially when some of my ‘gifts’ started to manifest themselves, but instead of outcasting me or anything they supported me with what they had no idea what was going on. I had a tutor and babysitter that I can hardly remember but I think they were an angel I’m not 100 percent sure. All I remember is that they promised to alway look after me even through time and space. I barely remember who they were or what they even looked like all I remember is a long coat and a deep voice much like Castiel’s.

I stop talking and Jacob is smiling up at me as he had listened to my memory.   
“Mama… miss nana and baba… miss dadda.”  
I smile as I try to control my tears as I lean back thinking of my ex-husband.   
I sigh as I get a call on my phone, “Hello.”  
“Yeah, is this Marina Winchester?”  
“Yes, it is. How can I help you?”  
“This is the hospital Mr. Jared Jensen had asked us to call you. He wishes to talk to you.”  
“Of course. I’ll be there in a lil bit,” I tell the hospital worker over the phone as I hang up.   
“Jacob, sweetie can you behave while mommy heads out for a short while.”  
My son smiles over at me as he plops down with a book opening it.   
I smile as I tell him, “Stay inside do not open windows or go outside.”  
My son nods and I quickly turn my back to him and exit the cabin. As I step outside I teleport to the hospital. As I look up at the hospital building all I can remember is waking up after the house had burnt down.

It was almost 10 years ago that I had woken up in the hospital too the sound of machines beeping. I had seen the light being flashed in my eyes and all I could think of was simply what the heck was happening.   
“Miss. Lance, can you tell me your full name?”  
I remember shaking my head as I look around, “No. I don’t know my name, my age, and anything else about myself. All I know is that I was in some kind of freak accident.”  
The doctor had spent what seemed to be hours talking to me about everything that was in my chart. I spent the whole time blocking them out and thinking of anything but what they were saying. I was perfectly silent barely talking to anyone unless it was needed. I didn’t really talk until I had walked into the bar that Jared played at. I had simply walked into the bar and my only plan was to drink myself into a stupor. That was when the man of my dreams started to sing a song that was about a woman waiting for love and to is saved. It fit perfectly to how I had felt. I fell in love with his voice and how it had made me felt. I wasn’t sure what I had originally had planned for my stupor, but I think it had something to do with my plan to kill myself or something along those lines.

“Miss…. Can I help you?” I look up to see a nurse at the front desk.   
“Yes, I was called in for Mr. Jared Jensen. Where is his room?”  
The nurse tells me and I simply give her my thanks as I walk to his room. When I make it I stand at the door staring in to see a frail looking man. He looks even more tired and starved than when I saw him not that long ago. I stare at him as a man in doctor garb comes over to me.   
“Miss. Winchester, how is it that you know Mr. Jensen?”  
“I met him when I had gone into the bar he works at a bit ago. We started talking it seems we were from the same area in Minnesota so we might have known each other.”  
“Well, we can wake up Mr. Jensen so you two can talk.”  
I nod my head as I give the doctor a small smile, “Yes, that would be great.”  
I follow the doctor inside and he slowly and carefully wakes up Jared.   
When he opens his eyes and looks at me I watch a small smile grace his lips. I watch as he goes to move but the wince on his face tells me that he’s in pain.   
I carefully push him back down as I show him a small smile, “Hi, Mr. Jensen.”  
“Jared is fine Marina. Now I want to know the truth did we know each other before?”  
I pierce my lips as I try to control my tears, “You know how I told you that I was married, but he was in an accident.” Jared nods his head and I continue to talk, “That wasn’t exactly the truth. You see the world is filled with things that are both good and bad that normal people don’t know about and live…. Or at least be able to live a normal life without living in a way in fear.”  
“You mean like gods and monsters?” he asks me.   
I nod my head as I look at him, “Yes, like gods and monsters. Your real parents are gods. That’s why your wounds are already healing at a faster rate than regular humans.”  
“Is it insane that I believe you. Especially after I was attacked by the guy this morning. What he was saying to me would make perfect sense. Though he said that you are the reason why I was being punished.”  
“Is that what he said?”  
“He had said something along those lines. Though when he pulled out the shotgun he said that something around nephilim doesn't deserve to survive. A nephilim is part angel and part demon… or part of either.”  
I look down at my hands as I look at him, “Jared, trust me when I say drop this. You’ll be safer that way. Though if you ever need anything call me at this number. If anything seems odd to call me no matter what.”  
I go to stand up when I hear a voice speak up that I know is an angel’s. I take a deep breath as I put protection on Jared, “Though you still can’t move too much without pain I will say this once stay here and if anyone but me comes in speak these words.” i tell him a phrase that should bring one of his parents here or even just activate his powers whatever they might be.  
I step out of the hospital door to come face to face with an angel whose name I can’t remember, but I know works for Metatron.   
“Marina, it’s time for you to pick a side.”  
I get ready to strike if needed, but I keep calm as I scuff at the angel’s words, “I pick humans is my answer. Angels and demons just want to use me in their battle against each other now with angels being broken up in fractions there’s a war for heaven. I have to say let it all burn cause the one at fault is Metatron who simply wants to take your father’s place.”  
“Do not speak such blasphemy,” the angel shouts as he pulls out his blade.   
I scuff at him again as I tell him, “Blasphemy is all I speak I guess then. I want nothing to do with this war unless god himself comes to me and says he needs my help. Since I don’t see him anywhere I’ll simply go with fuck off.”  
I turn around and I hear a shout escape the angel’s lips as he charges at me. I move out of the way and knock the blade from his grip. I then grab him by the throat, “Why can’t I live in peace? That’s all I wish for. I wish to live in peace with my family and things like you and such have to come into my life and tear it apart. I left my husband the first time believing that he’ll be safe, but no he wasn’t. I don’t want a part of any of your pitiful wars. I just wish to live as a human. I’m sorry for what I have to do.” as I speak my last sentence I shove my own angel blade into his heart and I can’t help but speak a small prayer for him. I take a deep breath as I open the door to Jared’s room though what I see stops my heart. Jared is on the ground with an angel blade shoved into his stomach. I race to him and try to heal the wound for I can pull it out. Though I feel the life already leaving him. I take a deep breathe as I pull the blade out and do the one thing I think will work. I do a complicated spell to breathe some life back into him. I wait to see if I can sense any progress and when I do I drop to the ground to wrap my arms around his chest and thank whoever had given me the strength to go through with the spell that is known to kill the caster.  
“I’m sorry, Jared. I’m gonna have to choose a path I hope I’d have to avoid. I have to leave you for a lot longer than I had planned. Still, I’ll always love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it and I'm always ready to hear what people have to say good or bad.


	5. Ch.4- Write, Dream, and Long Talks

I stifle my tears as I open the door to the cabin to find my son sitting on the floor reading the book I had set him down with when I had left.   
“Jacob,” I whisper as I scoop my son into my arms.   
He looks at me and as if he knows what had just happened. He reaches up for me knowing that I want to hold him in my arms to cheer me up. I lift him into my arms and he wraps his arms around my neck and I let a few tears escape.   
“Mommy…. Daddy’s not coming,” Jacob mumbles into my neck.   
I nod my head as I feel tears trickle onto my neck from my son so I give him a straight answer, “Daddy, doesn’t remember us. He’ll be in the hospital for a while and we need to stay here so we can be safe. We need to stay here so we can hide from a very bad person. He wants to use us like a lot of other people.”  
Jacob pulls away and I see tears and boogers running from my son’s eyes and nose. I wipe away his tears and snot as I caress his face letting him know that I will always care and love him like any mother should and would.   
I smile softly towards my son, “My son, I will always look after you. I will always love you. I would happily die for you anytime. Though I would also happily live for you for as long as I can.”  
Jacob looks up at me and I know what I mean. He knows that his mommy will protect him from everything no matter what. My son is smart for him age. He knows better he also has an idea that he isn’t like all the other kids… cause he’s not human like them. Well in a way he’s human, but he would never be like them.   
I sigh as I look over the cabin to see photos of what we have to treat as if they never happened. I guess this is what I’m really good at… fucking my life up like no other. I always have something amazing then I take it and dump it down the crapper. I had landed myself into foster care when I was 8 cause I wandered off from where the angels had decided to raise em and it was a pretty nice ranch in the midwest of the USA. I was lucky and only spent about 2 years in foster care before a loving family had adopted me and had treated me as their own child and I go and set them to burn. I met an amazing guy who had made me feel something besides pain and regret. I married him and everything we have a perfect son together and I had his mind erased cause I got scared of him knowing what I am. Then when I see him again and we still have that perfect spark between us I destroy that again by pissing off a prissy little angel that wants me as a minion. Why is life so fucked up? Which is partly though that I’ve met god and everything I don’t care for him much or at all.   
I smile as I carry my son into his room and lay him on his bed.   
“Do you want to hear a story?”  
I watch as my lil man nods his head, “Yes, mommy.”  
I smile as I pull out a small story that I had placed to the side for a time like this. A story that Jared and I had written together about how we had fallen in love, but in a more kid friendly fairytale way. As I finish the story I kiss my son’s forehead and hold back my tears as I smile down at him. Jacob kiss my cheek and I leave him as he is since it’s bed time. Still, what am I gonna do until I’m gonna go to bed? I guess I'll write. I sit on what couch we have and pull out a movie that Jared had dubbed that it was for us. It was one of the first romantic movies we had ever watched together. The notebook is a rather annoying, but sweet story and even Jared my tough ex-soldier decided it liked it mostly cause he saw so much emotion on my face… at least that’s the story he goes with. I smile as I hear it play in the background as I write up yet another story that I can read too my son. Jared had given me this idea when I told him I had dreams that seemed like fairy tales. He had told me that I should write them down and see where I go from there. After my first journal, Jared had told me that what I was writing was really nice and if we would ever have kids I should read them too him. Next thing I know I had written all kinds of stories and before we had left him we were fighting over if I should try to get some published. I was iffy especially after I had gotten my memories back. All that my stories were based on was the truth. The first one I wrote and Jacob loved was about how these angels had come to save a little girl and they raised her and when she had joined in with the human world on accident they helped her get into a nice family, where they kept watch. Then there was one about when I was younger where I met someone who I dubbed my guardian angel in a trenchcoat based off a few stories of time traveling Castiel. I sigh as I start to write about a mother and son hiding away in a bunker thinking the world was at war until they leave only to find her husband who she thought was lost to her…. Okay so there are some stories that I write that are for adult readers or those who can handle the more mature rating. I finish up the story by what I think is at least 3 in the morning that means I have at least 6 hours until Jacob will wake up.   
I sigh as I save my work and log off my computer. I set it on the lil table between me and the tv and sigh realizing it played it in a loop. I curl up on the couch and cover myself up with the small blanket I had kept there. Maybe a movie like this will give me the peaceful dreams that I wish for.

I'm in spacious backyard that has a tire swing hanging from a large oak tree that must have been planted long before they had built this house. I watch as a woman with flowing rather light brown hair. She’s pushing a small child on the swing and I hear a small song.   
“Hush little boy  
Mommy is here.  
She’ll protect you   
From what you fear.”  
The song keeps going and I watch as the little boy turn around and I see his dark hair and bright green eyes with gold and blue specks shining in the sun’s rays. He’s my lil Jacob a lot older than he is right now. I hold my breathe as I watch as a man with dark hair and green eyes walks up behind the woman and wraps his arms around her waist causing her to stop and laugh. I watch as my face comes into light. Almost as if she’s looking at me I see her give me a lil nod as she turns her attention to her family.

I sigh as I feel someone shaking me. I open my eyes to meet my son’s. I smile softly to him as I look at the clock to see that he woke up a lil bit earlier than I thought he would by about an hour. I smile at him and he gives me a disapproving look as he turns off the tv. Sometimes I think he’s far older than he actually is.   
Still, I keep my smile on as I sit up, “How about some breakfast?”  
He gives me a sad look as he nods his head. I lean over and kiss his forehead before I get up and move into the kitchen. As I cook up what I can I know that I hear my lil Jacob talking as if someone else is there. I look into the living room to see he’s in front of a mirror that was a gift from Jared’s mother. I sigh when I walk into the room to see her reflection in it. I groan as I look at her.   
“Hathor, what a surprise,” as I say this I bow slightly.   
“Do not mock me, child. Now explain to me what you had done to my child. He has no memories of you. He has no memories of Jacob. What did you do?”  
“We both know what I am and what I can do. Trust me when I say this it was not planned, but what little protection I had through my magic was wavering. It would only be a matter of time before things would start to come after us. Hathor, I thought what I was doing would be for the best.”  
“They know you still love him. They know that you would still protect him. That’s what that angel knew and that’s why they hurt him too get too you.”  
“Hathor, you’ll have to take him. He needs to know who he is. He needs to know who he is. Please. If you can save him or just protect him please so do,” I keep a hold of myself trying to be strong in front of this god. In front of my mother-in-law who doesn’t exactly care for me mostly cause of my ties to angels and demons.   
“Huh, you dare try to get me to pity you with those tears.”  
I take a deep breathe as I use a harsh tone, “Jacob go eat. Mommy needs to talk to grandma.”  
Jacob nods as he runs off to the dining room.  
“Hathor, I thought we’ve been over this. I don’t care for your pity or even anything. All I want is for you to take care of your son that you’ve ignored for how many years of his life. I expect you to care for your grandson even though I’m his mother. So all I care about is that. They are my only worry in the world. They are all I care about in the world. Not even apparently my brothers matter too me. I left them and your world behind for I can try to live as a normal being, but I can’t do that with my enemies being alive.”  
“What are you going to do?”  
“Start raising hell what else. Isn’t that what you told your son I was only good for.”  
Before more can be said I wave my hand and the call ends. I take a deep breathe as I place a small spell on the mirror that I get a choice if I want to answer her call or not. I take a deep breath and steel myself as I walk into the dining room. I smile as I see my son eating and reading away.   
“Sorry about that buddy. Grandma, sometimes makes mommy mad.”  
He nods his head, “I know. Daddy told me.”  
I smile as I lean over to hug my smart son who sometimes scares me with just how smart he can be.   
“Mommy, can I say goodbye to daddy?”  
I think for a second before I nod my head, “Of course. “  
I help him change though he doesn’t need my help and I quickly change when we were finished. I look at him and smile slightly as pull my son into my arms. I set him down again through when we get to the door and he grabs his shoes putting them on quickly. As we step outside I look down and Jacob takes a tight hold of my hand as I teleport us away from our safe haven to the hospital that Jared is at.   
I wonder if I should use cloaking magic or just walk without it…. Either way, It'll draw attention. I guess regular walking will have to do.   
As we step inside I smile slightly, “Hello, I was supposed to visit one of your patients and then everything happened last night.”   
The nurse nods her head, “Yeah, luckily it was only those who had brought those weapons in that got hurt. Though no one knows who hurt them the cameras were down during that whatever it was supposed to be.”  
I nod my head as Jacob shakes my hand and I pull him back into my arms and the nurse looks at him than me.   
“Is he yours?”  
No, I stole him and thought I’d bring him into a hospital for I can get caught.   
“Yes, he’s mine. I couldn’t leave him alone. I couldn’t get anyone over to watches him.”  
She nods her head as she smiles at him, “What’s his name?”  
I take a deep breathe and focus on the nurse and I soon see dark black eyes.   
I smile as I look at her and then lean over to whisper in her ear, “You can tell your boss he can go back from where he crawled from he’s not taking my son.”   
The demon nurse tilts her head, “Says you, but who do you think put it out for it can be known that the man here was your husband. You wiped his memory for nothing.”  
I chuckle as I look at her, “So you say, but I’m the one that knows who and what he is. I’m pretty sure you or any of your pals would last against his parents if I called them up.”  
I sign in and write down Jared’s information.   
I turn to leave when she says, “Some of the angel pals are here as well today so I’d be careful.”  
“Why tell me?”  
“Cause we don’t want either of you to be on their side.”  
I chuckle as I look at her, “I’m on neither side until they mess with my loved ones or our way of life.”  
To make my point across I take her hand and she winces as a lil bit of angelic grace burns her.

I make our way to Jared’s room and I make sure that Jacob’s true self is hidden from anything that can see it. As we make our way to Jared’s room I sigh as I remember Jared and I jokingly getting anti-possession tattoos while we were drunk. I had somewhat of a memory of what they meant and when I started to see black eyes we got them.   
I knock on Jared’s door and wait for him to say we can come in. I smile as I look at him. I balance Jacob as I close the door behind me and try not to show that I have an angel blade hidden in my jacket.   
“Hi, Jared. How are you today?” I ask him.   
He looks at me, “Confused. I had a dream of what happened last night, but someone was in the room with me and they had stabbed me in the stomach. There’s nothing there.”  
I nod my head as I sit down in the chair by his bedside and balance Jacob on my knee. Jared looks at him and I can see some shock. Sure Jacob and he have the same eyes and hair, but Jacob gets his looks from my side of the family.  
“Who is this lil guy?”  
“Ohh… Sorry, I guess you’d never have met him. This is my son, Jacob. Jacob, this nice man is Jared.”  
Jacob is still staring at him as if he’s trying to see in his father’s head if he truly has no memories of him. I take him my son’s disappointed look as he nods to Jared and then leans towards me. I wrap my arms around my son.   
“Did you visit last night? They said you went up before the attack, but they never saw your leave.”  
“I took the emergency exit when I saw those guys start attacking people.”  
He nods his head, but I see a smile of relief on his face, “I’m glad.”  
I hear a knock on the door and I look up to see his doctor enter and I glare at him as I take in how he has black eyes. I look at Jacob and I can feel him playing with his hands.   
“Jared, do you mind if I talk with your doctor real quick.”  
He nods his head and I look at my son, “Stay here alright.” I slip a minimized angel blade that took a whole lot of magic to shrink.   
I take a deep breathe knowing what I was silently telling my son as I walk out the door with the now possessed Dr. Stewarts. Though this one has red eyes what’s a crossroads demon doing here.   
“What do you want?” I hiss.   
The demon chuckles, “My name’s Crowley and I’d like to make a deal with you.”  
I look at him as if he’s stupid, “Do I look like I was born yesterday? I’m sure you know who and what I am, but do you have any idea of what I can do and who you’re messing with.”  
“I have a good idea. You did some rather nice work for Lucifer and now you're out and about I was wondering if you’d do some work for hell.”  
I laugh as I look at him, “I want nothing to do with hell. The only reason I worked for you before was cause Lucifer had people I loved under his control. Now I know a better extent of my power. So I’ll say this once touch anyone I love and I’ll make it seem like your first years of hell looked like a cake walk. I can be far scarier than Lucifer could ever be.”  
“Winchesters always seem to have that attitude embedded into their DNA.”  
I smile as I tap my chin, “Oh Crowley…. Ohh… yeah, you’re my brothers’ bitch.”  
The look of smugness is wiped from his face.   
“You now whatever power you have won’t work on me. If anything you’re more screwed than those angels would be. I’d give them a quick death, but I have more of a hatred for those that belong to hell than heaven.”  
“Yet, you won’t work for either side.”  
“Of course. I want nothing to do with your politics and such. I just want to live my life in peace with my family. If I can’t well I'll just have to burn down whoever gets in my way. So make yourself and your demons scarce cause if I see another one lurking around my loved ones I’m gonna come after you.  
Crowley looks at me and sigh, “Fine, for now, I’ll go along with that and I’ll pass it along. Though I can’t promise all my lil demons will listen.”  
I chuckle, “Then take my threat as an initiative to listen to me. I don’t hold empty threats I keep to my word. You better remember that.”  
I leave him stuttering over his words and walk in of Jared doing some small silly magic tricks for Jacob. I smile as I walk over to their side and sit behind Jacob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it and I'm always ready to hear what people have to say good or bad.


	6. Ch.5- I Go By Heather

“Mommy, look,” Jacob tells me as she points at Jared.   
I chuckle as I brush his hair from his face, “Is he showing you some magic tricks? That’s really nice.”  
Jacob nods as he watches his father intently as he’s shown another magic trick. I smile as I comb through his hair like any mother would.

After awhile I look at Jacob as I tell him, “Sweetie, it’s time that you should be reading. Here.”  
I hand him my phone and my headphones and he knows that he should go sit down so Jared and I can talk. I smile as he goes sit in one of the chairs in the corner and then looks at Jared who’s looking at me with eyes of wonder and I can even see a hint of love.   
“He must look a lot like his father.”  
I nod my head and I smile fondly, “He does. Though he takes after both of us. He’s really smart like his dad though he likes to say he’s an idiot. He’s really smart. Jacob still talks to his mother and she simply hates me more than when I had married him. You see we got in a bad position where he could have died, because of me… because of my real family. You see he never knew anything about me cause I didn’t have memories of who I used to be. I was a really bad fire shortly before I had met him. All I knew was my family was gone and I was all alone in the world. I had gone out to drink myself into oblivion and who knows what I had planned after that. I had blamed myself cause people were telling me just how lucky I was to be alive and without barely a scratch. Then I had met him. It wasn’t anything truly special but this song that was playing at the time spoke to me and so had he. It was almost like he could sense what was going on in my head. He simply spoke to me and his words in a way were a lot like when we had met in a way. We dated for a while and we ended up in that position though he could hardly remember it he was unconscious through about all of it. Though what he did remember he realized he couldn’t wait much longer. He had almost right away asked me to marry him and I didn’t say yes right away. I was afraid too. All I could think was I’m poison to those I love. I still think that. Yet after a few months of him asking me on and off. He did something that opened my eyes that even if I am poison he’s strong enough to stomach me. He’s strong enough to deal with all the bullshit I had done. That was the second time though that I almost got him killed in less than a year. Yet he pulled through and he still looked at me with loving eyes… You know what he said while he was in the hospital after I told him he was an idiot for trying to be a hero. I was his world and all he’d ever need would be me. I told him to ask me one more time. I then agreed that I’d marry him. Shortly after that, we found out we were going to have a baby.”  
“Why are you telling me this?” He asks confused, but I see something once again hiding behind all of that.   
“Ummm… I guess it causes in a way again you remind me of him… of the reasons why I fell in love with him. I guess it’s a lil bit silly.”  
He shakes his head, “There’s no way you’re silly. If anything you’re being true to your unique self. That makes you who you are.”  
I chuckle as I look at him tilting my head a lil bit.   
“I like it a lot better when you look like that. When you look happy. Though you always look far happier when you talk about him.”  
I look down as I look at my hands, “I guess it’s cause I want to make amends, but I know that he’s no longer with me. There’s nothing that I can do. Even if there was I’m not sure if he’d ever forgive me.”  
I hear a knock at the door and I watch Hathor come into the room. I freeze up as I meet her eyes.   
“Mom, what are you doing here?”  
“I heard my baby was in the hospital. Do you think I’d stay up in Minnesota?”  
I hear him groan and I can tell he doesn’t care for his mother being here.  
“No, but still it would have been better to stay up there with dad.”  
“Well we’re fighting right now so this makes it a whole lot easier.” She looks over at me and acts surprised, “Oh who is this?”  
I try not to give her a dirty look remembering how we had to have a lil talk not that long ago… plus I just don’t like her.  
“This is Marina Winchester and over there is her son Jacob.”  
“Oh, how sweet you know my son is only a bartender.”  
I chuckle as I look at her, “Yeah, I do know. Though he’s an amazing man who’s caring and strong.”  
“Yet he must be an idiot to get shot like that.”  
“Everyone at the bar was shocked. He wasn’t the only one that didn’t see it coming. No one can think of where the gun came from.” We sit there and have a stare off until I look at Jared, “So this is your mother I’m not sure where everything about yourself came from. Jacob and I need to be heading home. Do you still have my number?”  
He nods his head, “yeah, though visit me anytime. I’d love to see you 2 again soon.”  
I nod my head as I look at his mother, “It was nice meeting you…”  
“Heather Jensen,” she says to me.   
I nod my head as I pick up my son and leave the room, but I don’t get far until Hathor is front of me.   
“What the hell are you doing around my son? I thought you were done with him.”  
I growl as I grab her by her shirt and slam her into the wall, “I’m not done with him. I left him to protect him from the fucking creatures that are on my tail. If you want your son to be used as leverage again like you had last time then I’ll stay. I’m sure Metatron will have fun with him especially if people figure out he’s a god.”  
She glares at me, “Do what you will Hathor, but we both know that whatever they used to create me is almost as strong as the mark of Cain on my brother’s arm. So go ahead try me. I’m sure we’ll have fun.”  
Hathor knows better than test me how do you think I made it up to her when Jared almost died. The bad part with the spell they did they kind of made him mortal like.   
“I think I liked the idea of you staying away from my son.”  
I chuckle as I look at her again, “Hathor, we both know that'd never happen. We're meant to be I move to Kansas and he follows to the exact city. I had nothing to do with that and only 1 person knew where I'd be going.”  
She sighs as she nods her head and I let her go, “I know I just can't figure out why you 2 are supposed to be meant to be. To be paired together. I wish I had known who you were before I had given you my gift.”  
“It'd happen anyway it just ended up being a waste of magic. Though with what I'm gonna do soon I might just need it.”   
Hathor looks at me and I know that she's hiding a hint of sadness, “We may not always get along or like each other but we always agree that Jared and Jacob are important to both of us. That's something Horus and I always fought about. He couldn't stand the fact that our son fell in love with you. Though I can see why. You're beautiful and kind. Though with your blood bonds you treat everyone with such equality. It’s as if you don’t see a difference in any of us. You see that everyone is the same even though you were raised in a world that people different are to be feared and harmed. I know I’ve let you think I hate you, but that’s for my husband. You’re not a bad pair for my son we both know that. Though I know you need to talk to your brothers.”  
I sigh as I look at her, “I ran away from them.”  
“I know, but that prophet of there's is dead. Your oldest brother needs you.”  
I look at her as I sigh, “I know that why do you think I left. Still you have a point. I should have seen if I could stay to help, Dean. I just look what I've done in my life everything that's good for me I end up hurting. In the first few years together I almost got Jared killed how many times. I can't do that to my brothers as well even if god is always bringing them back. I’m nothing but poison… I’m already scared that I’m going to destroy my son’s life. Hathor, I have spent most of my life fearing my powers. I have basically killed everyone I have ever loved except my son. Your son he had died that night he was shot, but I lost control somehow I had brought him back to life. I was so scared I had done something but when I checked into it, he was still the same. I’m scared though my powers they’re getting stronger and stronger each day.”  
Hathor nods as she looks around, “I think you should leave. Jacob needs to be in a safe place and I’m sure you know a few places since you got the memory.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it and I'm always ready to hear what people have to say good or bad.


	7. Ch.6- Family Matters

I sigh as I teleport Jacob and myself to the bunker knowing that Dean is inside. Though I’d much rather be interested in finding Castiel and Sam. Though I have to talk to Dean to make sure he’s alright. 

I walk inside the bunker to have a gun shoved in my face. 

“Dean, I swear if you don’t move that gun out of my face I will make sure you’ll end up shooting yourself.”

I hear a small chuckle and I look over to see Crowley standing there and I wonder if that’s him then who the hell did I talk too not that long ago. Still, I look over at Castiel and I can tell that he’s weak and not sure what’s happening. 

“Cas, you look great,” I joke and I get a small smile. 

“I should have listened to you, Marina. I should have done what you had told me to do.”

I smile as I place my hand on his cheek like a mother would do with her child, "I know, Castiel. Though think of me more as Missouri I more so give hints or try to counsel people I don’t give major things away knowing that a lot of things are already written. Though I’m also much like those she would tell things too. I speak the words, but I don’t always know where they come from.”

They look at me confused and I smile lightly, “You’re going out to look for Gadreel aren’t you.”

They look at me as they say, “How did you know who he was?”

“Cause He was on our side until Metatron talked too. He just wanted to have a life to believe that he has friends once again, but he knew if Cas recognized him the ‘life’ he had made was not to be.”

“Though you knew who he was?”

“Yes, but he knows what I am. I’m basically a made nephilim something that is not too exist. Though both angels and demons want me on their side to work for them. I was made by both species. I was made for their own use. So you can see as long as he behaved I didn’t care. Though I understand I left the day before he had killed Kevin.”

They nod and I nod looking around and then looking at them, “You can go. I was going to grab a few things. Though if you’d like I can always come with, but I need someone to watch my son.”

Dean nods as he smiles gently at me, “You’ve tried to do so much for us anyways. You’ve helped out a lot. I’m sure Sam will need your help when we get back.”

I nod my head, “Call me and I’ll be here.”

Dean smiles as he pats my shoulder as he leaves and before they leave and the door is shut between us I shout, “Don’t trust Crowley. If anything I’d keep that pretty lil mouth of his sewn shut.”

I hear a small laugh and Crowley says, “It makes me all tingly with her promises.”

“Fuck with my family and I’ll make it so it’s even less pleasurable for you, Crowley. Trust me don’t fuck with those I care about.”

I hear him chuckle and I know he knows what I mean. I sigh as I look at Jacob who had made it past me and the others. I watch as he runs to the books that are a lot more of a light read. I smile as Jacob goes to the couch and curls up with the book. I smile as I know that I’ve already read the library so I have nothing new to read, but maybe in a way, I have something to write for Jared.

Jared’s POV

I wake up and start looking around as if I had heard someone say my name. 

I smile gently as I think of Marina Winchester and how her son projected an image into my mind of who I’d want my own child to be. I smile as I think of how his eyes reminded me of a younger version of myself. Though the way that her eyes shined when he listened and when she spoke of his father. A man she fell in love with quickly and strongly. A man she still seems to be in love with… yet she speaks as if she had left her behind as if he wasn’t even dead yet. Though she spoke as if he was. What was he? If he is alive then why would she leave him if she loves him so much? She full of mystery and at the same time she’s so easy to read as if I've known her for a long time. I’ve known her years instead of maybe a few weeks. 

I watch as my mother comes into the room and I smile softly though I can’t help but ask her, “Mom, do you know Marina?”

She looks at me and shakes her head, “No, though she reminds me of a girl you dated before.”

I look at her as I get a goofy grin on my face, “I don’t think that’s possible, mom. Marina isn’t like any other person I’ve met. Though I just keep having this feeling that she’s in trouble.”

I watch my mother smile sadly as she sits beside me as she looks at me. 

“The truth is I do know the poor girl. I met her a few times before in Minnesota a while back. She was a troubled kid especially after what happened to her parents. She’s tried to kill herself a few times even though she was dating a wonderful young man. She thought she was a toxin to him. Then he lost his memory of her and she ran away without much of a word with everything that’d show she was real.”

I nod my head as I yawn, “Sorry about this mom. I’m just so tired.”

She strokes my face and pushes my hair around on my forehead, “I understand, sweetie. Get some sleep. I’m gonna grab something to eat.”

I nod my head as I smile at her as she leaves. I let my eyes droop shut.

 

I hear a scream and my eyes snap open to see the sight of Marina on the ground with one hand holding onto her stomach as what seems to be blood gushing around her hand. Her other hand is reaching towards a limp small figure. All I hear her do is call her son’s name as she reaches for the small body. I move closer to see that Jacob is long gone from this world with what looks like a knife wound to his throat and his eyes almost look burned out of his skull. I hear Marina start crying and she tries to turn over and her eyes meet mine. 

“Go back. You can’t be here. It’s bad enough they got us. I love you,” she says while staring straight into my eyes. 

I shake my head as I place a hand on her and whisper, “I can’t leave my wife behind.”

She smiles slightly as she looks at me, “I left you behind. I took your memories. Jared, be a regular human as long as you can before everything for the real world comes crashing around you.”

My body moves on its own as I kiss her lips as she smiles at me, “I’m sorry about this.”

I watch a small light leave her and make its way over to lifeless Jacob. It’s a couple of seconds and I hear him gasping and Marina’s chest is still and her eyes are lifeless even with her last tears still running down her face. 

 

I shoot up in the bed and pull out my phone quickly and call Marina. 

“Hello, this is Marina,” she answers quickly. 

“Hi, Marina it’s Jared. I was just calling to see how you’re doing?”

I hear a smile on her lips as she answers, “I'm doing pretty well stopped at my brother’s place to borrow some books, but Jacob is too busy flipping through them. I guess we’ll probably stay here for a lil while before we head out again.”

I almost sigh in relief as I hear her voice and how she’s calm. So she’s safe and so’s Jacob. 

“I’m sorry Jared that I have to cut this short, but my brother’s calling so so I need to head out for a bit. I’ll talk to you later, Jared. If anything just messages me at my number whenever you want.”

“Of course, I’ll talk to you later Marina.”

I sigh as I lean my head back and close my eyes and clasp my hands together to do a quick prayer, ‘Please lord look after Marina and Jacob. Let them be safe and happy. Let them repair their family for it can be whole again.”

In a flash of light, I see a man with brown hair and beard nicely groomed with blue eyes staring at me. 

I don’t jump but I still growl out, “Who the hell are you?”

“Well, I guess you can call me God. I’m here on behalf of Marina Winchester. You wish for her family to be repaired and put back together. All you have to do is ask me. I had… fucked her over in her life. Her life was never easy whenever anything seemed to be going well for her it seemed to turn around and go straight to hell. I let her be turned into what she is. I think she got it worse off then all the kids Azazel had infected. She was different she took to the demon blood, but she drew in angel grace as well making her a first nephilim in centuries. The first one to survive this long. Marina Winchester the girl who knew nothing of a normal human life until she lost the memories of who she was in the fire that killed the only family she ever knew.”

I look at him confused, “What are you talking about?”

I watch the man smiled sadly, “Your parents hid what you are from you for so long. They did so hope that you could live a normal life. Though there are things that go bump in the night and there are such things as angels, gods, and demons.”

“You’re crazy,” I tell him grunting a lil bit in discomfort as I try to move. 

I feel him touch my forehead with two fingers and it’s almost like a floodgate opens and I feel tears drip down my cheeks. Everything…. My entire life with Marina comes back to me and what makes it worse if the night she left. The night she erased herself from my life I knew it was gonna happen and I didn’t stop her. I knew it was gonna happen cause I dreamt of it the night Lucifer had let me free. I knew it was gonna happen way before it was going too. She lied to me about what she knew and yet she had no idea when she was lying. 

I look at the man again and ask him, “Why do this? If you’re a god why help the two of us?”

“I’m the Christian god which makes me as old as death himself. I’m older than your parents by a long shot.”

“My parents?”

“Yes, they are Egyptian gods if I remember correctly. I have a slight bad memory when it comes to things like that. There are so many gods and though not a lot of people know but there are demi-gods though most are killed either after birth or in the womb. It’s the same with children like Marina when they are discovered. So I had her raised by 2 of angels, but it wasn’t a good life for her or anyone for that fact.  So we let her into the human world. We never saw what would happen in her life, but I think you are the end of her trouble. Your gifts are unique just like Marina. You 2 were born to be together not even cupid's arrows could draw the 2 of you apart. She is your family and you are her’s.”

I nod my head and realize all the looks of pure content, loneliness, and love that are in her eyes when she’d look at me. Why when she spoke of the man she loved I felt the truth and I felt all the lies. I knew all her tells without a second thought. When I met Jacob or even first heard about him I felt my heart grow with pride and it didn’t make sense… I guess in truth it does. He’s my smart and loving son. 

I smile as I look at God and smile slightly, “This is a lil weird counting I’ve always been a borderline atheist.”

I watch a smile crack on his face as he says, “The irony, huh.” I nod my head as he looks at me again as he pats my shoulder, “Please look after her. She needs you more than anything even if she fights you fight back. Just be careful the girl knows how to fight, maim, torture…. Just don’t piss her off.”

I chuckle remembering picking a fight with her once, “yeah, I know. Though she’s my family and I’m her’s we’re all the matters… along with Jacob and whatever another child, we could possibly have.”

I watch the man smile and nod as he disappears and I lean my head back into my hospital bed, “Now that was a weird experience… I wonder how I should go about this whole memory thing. I don’t think I should go around telling people who helped me. For now, I’ll keep quiet on the matter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it and I'm always ready to hear what people have to say good or bad.


End file.
